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2006-07-31: Not Escape Phrase
Madness of knitting
I have the knitting bug again.
These instructions are loosly adapted from the weird KNUCKS in the most recent issue of Knitty.
My alterations to the pattern are for the best. Terrifying middle fingers of death are much better than night-of-the-hunter-wannabe yarn tattoos.
Be glad I didn't do my original idea for this comic, which didn't have instructions, it just had Tsam counting the stitches for the whole thing.
This comic is in the storyline:
- Filler
Not quite comics, not quite purposeful material. But damned if I'm going to miss an update IF I MISS AN UPDATE I'M NOT A PROFESSIONAL CARTOONIST.
Text transcript
Narration: Meanwhile, much earlier... Tsamantha: Cast on 20, knit in the loose end, seven rows... make a nice tube... put it on some spare needles... cast on 16, knit in the loose end, seven rows... make a nice tube... put it on some spare needles... Cast on 18, knit in the loose end, seven rows... Make a nice tube... put it on the same needles... cast on 18 with scrap yarn, knit seven rows... make a nice tube... put it on the same needles... Tsamantha: Cast on 18, knit in the loose end, seven rows, knit along the three small tubes starting with the biggest, Slip slip knit at the start of a tube, knit two together at the end of a tube. knit down and down, one and one, one and two, one and three, one and four, one and five... Tsamantha: ...FOUR AND THIRTY, FOUR AND THIRTY-ONE, FOUR AND THIRTY-TWO, FOUR AND THIRTY-THREE, FOUR AND THIRTY-FOUR, FOUR AND THIRTY-FIVE, FOUR AND THIRTY-SIX, FOUR AND THIRTY-SEVEN, FOUR AND THIRTY-EIGHT... Tsamantha: ...THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-ONE, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-TWO, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-THREE, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-FOUR, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-FIVE, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-SIX, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-SEVEN, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-EIGHT, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY... ... whoops... THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-EIGHT, THIRTEEN AND TWENTY-NINE... Tsamantha: TWENTY AND FIFTY-SIX, TWENTY AND FIFTY-SEVEN, TWENTY AND FIFTY-eight! Join on the big ring, with the same KNIT TWO TOGETHER AND SLIP SLIP KNIT. KNIT TWO ROUNDS, THEN DO A SLIP SLIP KNIT ON ONE SIDE AND A KNIT TWO TOGETHER ON THE OTHER where the join was. Do that until you get back down to fifty-eight stitches. Tsamantha: FIFTY-SIX... FIFTY-SEVEN... FIFTY-EIGHT! THat’s it. Now do the cuff however you like. Now comes the fun part! Tsamantha: TAKE THE SCRAP YARN OUT OF THE MIDDLE FINGER, AND PUT THOSE STITCHES ON NEEDLES. KNIT UNTIL YOUR FINGERS BLEED. ONCE IT’S TWICE THE LENGTH OF THE INTENDED PERSON’S FINGER, START DECREASING INTO A SCARY CLAW-LIKE POINT. Tsamantha: KNIT THE OTHER HAND IDENTICALLY, THEY’RE SYMMETRICAL! AND ONCE YOU’VE DONE THAT... YOU HAVE... Jimothy: AYE AYE GLOVES!